I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
