she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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