I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
