We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
