my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
