so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
