i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
