I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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