The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
