Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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