dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
