I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
