I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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