I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
