I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
