just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
