I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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