DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
