maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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