its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
