If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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