also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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