i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
