I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
