Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Is this like a preordered booty call?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
