so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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