why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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