Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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