porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
