I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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