Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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