Yo dont text me then not text me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
