If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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