he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize