Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
