now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
