Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
