So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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