For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
