I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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