I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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