Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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