if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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