I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
