I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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