I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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