Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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