I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
