Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
