i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
