Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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