Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just had sex on a roof
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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