its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
