In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
