Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
