1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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