so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
