i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
